During our women’s fellowship meeting at my church (Pillars of Light every Thursday night at Mount Olive Church of God, all are welcome!), everyone was asked to choose from their salvation story, baptism or a worship experience and describe how we felt during the experience. Another woman and I both chose a worship experience and we shared how we felt so overwhelmed with God’s presence. Another woman chose her worship experience too. However, she used a word that immediately drew me in. She said she felt broken. She said she felt completely vulnerable and open to God. We then started to talk about the idea of brokenness. You probably heard that being broken hurts. Some will say being broken is a time where God isolates you from everyone and put you through a series of tests. Others will say it’s a time where you hit rock- bottom in life. That during this process, you feel incredible pain and confusion.
The brokenness I want to talk about is the brokenness that young woman described. The brokenness that leads to stripping of self. Imagine a person with a mirror in their room. Every time they pass by the mirror they would walk with better posture or suck in their gut. The only time they stand in front of the mirror is when they have on the nicest outfit and their hair is on fleek. (That word still makes me laugh) Ladies, her face is beat! Fellas, his shape-up is fresh! However, in all honesty, they rather not look at the mirror at all, but they have to. The same way we are with God. We try to look the best when we are in front of Him. Sunday best, smelling fresh, verses are correctly recited, hands up and eyes are closed. If the song hits us in the right spot, we might even give a couple shouts. We try to appear without struggles, without flaw, without blemish. Now remember our friend with the mirror. Imagine that person decides to look at herself in the mirror with no clothes on. Without make-up. Without her hair done and no shape-up. No sucking in or making sure to stand right where the light hits her ‘good-side’. Imagine that she is standing in front of the mirror bare…and realizing that she is ok. That is the brokenness we need. It is the act of laying naked before God. Laying not just your wants and needs at the altar, but yourself. It brings forth a feeling of being left in awe that a God like Him could love a person like little old you. Worship becomes more sincere and you lay before your God broken. Face-to-face with His perfect presence and aware of your imperfections and being re-assured that it’s ok. For that’s exactly where He wants you. No longer holding the crooked nails, dry glue and cheap tape that you have been using trying to hold yourself together, but with outstretched arms, in complete surrender to God. I recently experienced this with God. I felt like a little girl in the arms of her Father. Protected. Kept…but undeservingly. God you know me the best, but you still want me. What a God. In this brokenness, you are not only broken before God, but you are broken from your chains. Uncovering your false sobriety. When you stop hiding behind the fact you go to church, but admit you are addicted to having sex and/or doing sexual things, taking drugs, having suicidal thoughts, lying, judging others, mistreating your brothers and sisters and breaking hearts. When you can admit your addictions, problems, struggles, and unhealthy emotions and bring them bare before God, He deals with them! You claim your victory when you claim your dependency on God. Kyle Idleman, the author of the book ‘Not A Fan’ wrote: “There are too many voices telling us to keep up appearance, because if we don’t our life will fall apart. That’s why the people of our times have become masters of illusion, experts at covering pain, abusers of medication, slaves of financial debt, followers of fads, and partakers of loneliness. Because we won’t realize that the only solution for being broken is…brokenness.’’ See the brokenness we hear of so much is not rock-bottom. Surely, if another negative thing happens it would be yet another ‘test’ that God threw on you or just another thing that proves life sucks. With true brokenness, there is no way to go, but up. The brokenness I am talking about is ALWAYS followed by a release, a breath of fresh air, a peace. May the love and faithfulness of God lead you to brokenness. He is so waiting to mold you into something beautiful.
Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64 vs 8 “Then the word of the Lord came to me: “O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter has done?” declares the Lord “Behold, like the clay in the potter’s hand, so are you in my hand, O house of Israel.” Jeremiah 18:5-6